Yemurai Kanyangarara— may his memory live on through us By: Jessica Burnham
As an intern for Girl Child Network Worldwide, I was informed by Betty Makoni of Yemurai Kangarara’s tragic death and of his mother Sharon, who is handling herself so gracefully during such a painful time. As someone who had never before met Sharon or her family in person, I was fortunate enough to be warmly welcomed into their home on July 8 for a beautiful Zimbabwean ceremony and to express my sincere condolences and empathy for the loss of their young yet inspiring family member.
There is a compelling story,
however, behind the grieving. Sharon and her sister Memory spent part of the
evening with us, and although it was a struggle to talk about their beloved
Yemurai, they recounted their loving memories of him with dignity and poise. It
was thereafter made obvious that a story of life and love needs to be told
about a boy whose image has been incongruously connected to a story of
death.His life was made most beautiful by his love for others and the very
evident love of others for him. From the time his mother named him Yemurai,
meaning “adorable” in the Zimbabwean Shona language, many people would come to
adore him for his passion, creativity and kindness.
“There was so much excitement
around his birth for some reason, it was a big event,” said his mother Sharon
Jambawo. Born on March 19, 1995 at Harare Hospital in Zimbabwe, Yemurai
Kanyangarara and his mother struggled through a natural birth that lasted 12
hours.
There was an immediate,
deep-rooted and lasting connection between mother and son. “They wanted to
clean him first before I could hold him, so they quickly did the cleaning, and
then they wrapped him, and then I held him, and since that time I never wanted
to let go,” Jambawo explained.
The first person to be
awe-inspired by Yemurai was his own mother. “He was so cute it was
unbelievable,” Jambawo said. “I was thinking, I can’t believe he has just come
out of me!” His mother would not be the last person to recognize and appreciate
his extraordinary qualities.
His extended family played a defining role
throughout his life alongside his mother. Many of them offered constant love
and support from the beginning. “There was just something about him from day
one, something very special,” said his aunt Memory Jambawo.
Kanyangarara
left Zimbabwe for the UK in 1997 when he was just over 2-
years-old.
He was thereafter surrounded by family, including his mother, his aunt Memory,
and his uncle Trevor, all of whom temporarily lived under the same roof.
“When the three of us were living
together, it was like he had two mommys and uncle Trevor. His relationship with
Trevor [was] very, very close,” said his aunt Memory.
In
addition, he had his uncle Melvin, who also played a very significant role in
Yemurai’s life. His uncle Melvin, whom Yemurai considered as his role model
would spend most weekends with him and taking him flying. Also he had his aunts
Caroline and Jacqueline to rely on, although only 5 of his mother’s siblings
were living in the UK. His grandmother’s sisters, Angela and Dorothy were also
there to sustain and encourage him and his mother. Furthermore, his father’s
sisters were quite present as well, keeping him engaged with the Kanyangarara
family. His father, Kelton Kanyangarara, recently left a message Yemurai’s
Facebook page that read "My boy is gone it is so painful – my heart is
bleeding. RIP my boy I will always love you."
After
arriving in the UK, Yemurai attended Blackheath Day Nursery for only a short
period of time because it was difficult for his mother Sharon to entrust her
only child to the care of others. She remembers that even at that time, Yemurai
was developing quite a charming and sociable personality.
“He always stood out.
Not just because of the way he used to look, but the way he was just bubbly. He
was a very bubbly baby,” Sharon said.
In addition to his outgoing
temperament and cleverness, Yemurai began showing his aptitude for athleticism
quite early.
“He used to run, [he was] very
energetic. He was an active baby. Always laughing and giggling, quite cheeky
really,” Memory recalled.
His nursery experience lasted for
only a few months and then Sharon decided to look after him herself until he
was ready to start reception. Like many children at this age, Yemurai loved to
play with cars and action figures, but he also began to develop a deep
appreciation for literature. In year 6 he was awarded a book signed byAnthony
Horowitz after he won a short story competition.
“It was like a rule, he wouldn’t go
to bed without a bedtime story,” recalled his aunt Memory. His mother ties his
love for books and stories to Yemurai’s active imagination that would come to
further express itself throughout his life.
“How he loved to read books. And
when he was in primary school, they did some story writing, like a competition,
and then he won. The prize was a book,” Sharon said. “He used to write poetry
and stories. There was one that they published and it was on the school wall.”
It was also in primary school that
Yemurai was first recruited to play football for Junior Falcons football club.
A football coach came to Yemurai’s school, saw him play, and recognized his
talent and potential. Thereafter, he approached Sharon, eager to recruit
Yemurai for his football team.
“Normally kids, they line up
applying, and then they go through 3 months trial before they are fully
accepted. But he was ready to just take him on, and he said ‘I know a good
player when I see one,’” Sharon said.
Thereafter, Yemurai played football with
this same coach from the age of 9 to the age of 16, up until a few months ago.
According to his mother, he had sustained many injuries and therefore wanted to
take some time off. But, she said that his team, and his coach in particular,
really played a defining role in Yemurai’s life.
“This football coach has really been
a big part of Yemurai because he has loved him and treated him like his own
child,” Sharon said.
She explained that team members and
their parents would always help out when need be, giving rides to Yemurai and
making sure he was able to make it to practices and games while his mother was
working. In addition to his aptitude for football, he was also talented in
athletics and swimming.
His mother further explained that
during primary school, Yemurai was loved and praised by all of his teachers.
The feedback she received about her son was always positive, which left her
beaming at the academic achievements and principled character of her son.
In fact, during a visit to the
Jambawo house, Sharon pulled out a binder filled with all of the awards Yemurai
had received over the years. Containing awards of every kind, this collection
of Yemurai’s achievements illustrates his extraordinary abilities, but also the
rightfully proud accomplishment of a devoted mother who raised her son well.
When he began secondary school,
Yemurai was again loved and admired by those he was surrounded by, as they
recognized his benevolent nature. According
to a recent article in BBC News, Yemurai was described by his head teacher at
St. Columba's Catholic Boys' School as a "kind, gentle lad."
Although he was skilled in many
academic subjects, he had particular enthusiasm for the classes most people
find difficult. “He loved science subjects, physics was his favorite. And math
especially,” said his aunt Memory. He was also a musician, having played
keyboard during his years at school.
Although he had always been quite
sensible and mature for his age, Yemurai was gradually becoming an adult
physically, mentally and emotionally.
“His
voice was getting deep and we were almost the same height, and
we
were laughing about it. I said ‘maybe you are even going to be taller than me.’
He used to laugh at my feet because I am size 5, and he was now size 7,” Sharon
said. He was a very caring and sensitive son, a child any parent would be proud
of. He was a “gift from God”, according to Sharon.
Also
a sign of his coming-of-age was his relationship with his girlfriend, Amber,
who obviously cared about him deeply. She recently made plain her feelings
through a message she left for Yemurai.
“It hasn’t sunk in
yet, the way I collapsed when the policeman told me my boyfriend was gone, like
I’m never gonna see you again? Not in this world anyway.
I wish I could see you, I’d tell
you everything [you] wanted, give you a big hug and kiss and say how much I
love you. My boyfriend, my baby, my ROD. Rest in Perfect Peace,” Amber said.
Having
just finished his GCSEs, Yemurai and his mother were considering the
possibility of a future in one of his two passions: astronomy or aviation.
“We
found out about Bexleyheath Cadets so we were going to look into that thinking
that after A level he would go and join the cadets. It was definitely going to
be piloting now,” Sharon said. Yemurai obviously had a bright future ahead of
him.
Although
she could not pinpoint anything in particular, Sharon remembers not feeling
like herself during her last week with Yemurai. They both had every reason to
be excited about the future, yet Sharon felt troubled. “I was just feeling sad
and I was just thinking, ‘there is nothing to be sad about’,” Sharon said.
“Everything was fine. Yemurai had just finished his exams, now were excited
about applying for school, so I couldn’t think of anything, but I was just
down.”
She
remembers being preoccupied with spending as much time with Yemurai as
possible. “For some reason I had been paying too much attention to him. And I
didn’t even have time to call people, all I was doing was go to work, come
home, and straight to Yemurai,” Sharon said.
Her last night with him was similar
to any other, although it would be her final goodbye to her only child. With a
kiss on each cheek, and a “goodnight, I love you,” Sharon went to her room to
sleep before an early day of work. Later that night, she gave Yemurai
permission to watch a film before bed, feeling he had earned it after
completing a long session of exams.
“I woke up and left for work and he
was still sleeping. That was the last conversation I had with him,” Sharon
said.
Yemurai was an extraordinary boy
with an extraordinary future ahead of him. When his death shocked the
consciences of so many, grieving immediately followed, however, let us
simultaneously take hold of his memory and let it be a call to action. Let us
remember Yemurai through our thoughts and actions, and teach our young ones the
way of love and peace rather than hate and violence. In his memory, let’s work
to reform our homes, classrooms, and societies so that all young people can
achieve their potential in an environment of empathy.
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